Halcyon

All of its comforts seem so essential

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 12:37:38 GMT

I was in Waterstones, buying some books and the sales assistant pointed to George R. R. Martins' a game of thrones.

"Are you buying this for yourself?"
"Yes"
"It's such a great series!"
I nodded and smiled, not wanting to admit that I'd already read them all and was just buying them to read again.

The less that you give, you're a taker

Fri, 27 Nov 2009 17:06:23 GMT

Me: "Did some fucker use all the labels and not print off any more?"
Coworker1: "Check ____'s tray"
Me: "Brilliant, I knew we kept you around for a reason"
Coworker1: "Yes, still not sure why we keep you around though"
Me: "My amazing sense of humour and stunning good looks, clearly"

Me: "I can't believe it took her over a month to discover I stapled her post-it notes together."
Coworker2: "You are a despicable human being, Lee"
Me: "Yes"

He told of death as a bone white haze

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 18:20:36 GMT

The following business idea came about due to a number of observations. The first being that elephants are an endangered species primarily because people kill them for something they desire. The second observation is that we kill a lot of animals for things we desire, such as pigs, chicken cows, etc. None of these animals are endangered because people take care to ensure that there will always be more of them, rather like planting new trees before cutting them down, rather than deforesting indiscriminately and destroying the landscape.... Now, apparently, as well as the ivory trade, people also kill elephants for meat. Thus an idea was formed. If we farmed elephants, they would no longer be endangered. Firstly, there would be a financial incentive in ensuring a continued supply of elephants, after all an elephant farm would be pretty pointless without any elephants and wouldn't sell much in the way of produce. Secondly, I'm pretty sure farmers could undercut the poachers, as they would be able to make a significant profit by utilising the whole elephant, rather than whatever they can hack off in a hurry. This would put the poachers out of business. After all, how many cow poachers do you hear of? Plus, if someone had ownership of the elephants, they would take care to ensure poachers did not kill them. An added advantage of this plan is that it would provide employment in a third world area, which can only be to the good. Taken to the next level, a series of elephant themed fast food restaurants could be initiated, selling elephant burgers and special children's meals with toys crafted from ivory. After all, the trade doesn't need to be illegal if it derives from fresh farmed elephants, slaughtered in order to provide meat for people. A range of novelty items could also be created, including such items as "elephant trunks" which could either be storage boxes bound in elephant hide and fitted with ivory decorations, or elephant themed swimwear. The idea of the trunk being bound in hide may seem repellent, but the more of the carcass that is used, the less wasteful each death becomes. I considered taking this plan to Dragons Den, but felt that my inherent shyness could prove detrimental when confronted by video cameras, thus harming my proposal.

Arms that chained us, eyes that lied

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 21:41:12 GMT

Most days of the week, or at least the ones where my co-worker doesn't finish at the same time as myself, I catch the bus home. This is a novel concept I know, especially for those of you possessing a drivers license. What makes this even more novel is that a bus company has started making it's drivers come onto the business park in order to get more customers. This bus has one solid advantage; it takes about half the time to get home than the previous two buses that required me to travel through town. It is however, possibly one of the least professional bus services I have ever encountered. At least two of the drivers have asked me for directions, one of them on more than one occasion. The main problem behind this is that I read when on the bus and thus have not the vaguest clue which route they should be taking. If I wanted to know how to drive there, I'd learn. It also tends, when caught at five past four, to be full of school children. This would be more bearable if the kid at the back didn't have an interest in generic rap and hip hop and actually possessed a set of headphones. Apparently he believes sharing is caring when it comes to music on the bus. Another interesting feature is how few of the buses actually have a functioning ticket machine, providing me with an interesting array of handwritten tickets, the most interesting of which being the one which states that I paid �180 for my journey. I have to admit that I considered submitting this with an expenses form to see if my boss was paying attention.

I've got a strong urge to fly, but I've got nowhere to fly to

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 22:06:49 GMT

I think one of the things that still makes me the most uncomfortable is physical contact. Or, more precisely, the potential for physical contact. I'm not particularly used to having people closer than arms reach to me. Thus, unless I know them well, I'm painfully aware of people who are closer than that and find it harder to relax. Which makes bus travel interesting, although it should be noted that the seat next to me is usually one of the last to be filled.

I won't waste your time with my revelation

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 22:34:41 GMT

People forget things easily. One of the things they forget most often is that, in terms of our experiences, there are no blacks and whites. Things are never simply this, or that. There are no absolutes. Yet we repeatedly bind the vast breadth of our experience with simplistic terms denoting two extremes. Straight or homosexual. Black or white. The reality is that everything we see, hear, taste has subtle shadings, each differing depending upon the one experiencing them. A man who finds himself attracted to another, physically, mentally or emotionally isn't immediately homosexual. Race is a label entirely without meaning, a way of defining people in terms of social groups, based solely on where their antecendents dwelt. Even something which seems relatively simple and clearcut, such as gender. A penis may physically define you as a man, but this has no guarantee that your mental make up matches the social concept of a male. I wish people would stop defining the world so simply, and learn to blur the lines they've so carefully drawn.

Time is running backwards and so is the bride

Mon, 28 Sep 2009 07:13:05 GMT

Another webcomic that sums things up nicely

Her eyes, she's on the dark side

Thu, 20 Aug 2009 23:11:48 GMT

He stands at the window, a dim reflection in the glass. He gazed through the floor to ceiling panes, drinking in the bustling City below, Teralis, the capital of an expanding empire. Even at this unholy hour he could see a flood of people moving in the harsh neon glare of the many-hued lights.

An architectural mess, it would be deemed hideous by many of his people. Now, gazing over it, he realized its true appeal. Its life. Its vitality. By comparison his people seemed to dwell in gaudily decorated tombs.

He let out a deep Sigh, letting his head fall against the glass. Music swelled in the apartment behind him, the bass vibrating the windows, thrumming through his naked body. The yellow glow of the dimmed lamps raised a faint Shimmer from his golden hair, lending colour to his pale skin. A body stirred behind him on the bed, pulling itself free of the sheets. The woman so revealed swung her legs to the floor, pushing herself up. Caelris turned as she padded over to him. Her hands slid over his body, tracing the many scars that marred his flesh. Although tall for a human, she barely reached his chest and, looking down at her, he realised she loved him, or thought she did. Something Kyrel once said came back to him. "Women like bad boys and you, my friend, are a fucking bastard". He kissed her lips, then bent and swept her into his arms.

He may not be able to give her love but he'd give her the rest of the night.

Don't get up gentlemen, I'm only passing through

Sun, 16 Aug 2009 10:46:54 GMT

I don't usually make this kind of post, but I'm curious and I want to see if anyone responds.
Why is America seemingly so afraid of a nationalised health service?
What is so terrible about everyone being able to receive treatment, regardless of how rich they are?

I'm your loan shark of bliss

Fri, 24 Jul 2009 17:53:18 GMT

A while back, over a month ago, I grew tired of the many drawbacks of playing World of Warcraft on the American servers.
As a result I cancelled my subscription and started playing on the European servers.
If nothing else, it's entertaining to play WoW at the same time as other people, especially a couple of my friends who also have accounts.
In order to reach 80 sooner, I switched to god mode, otherwise known as the death knight class.
Thus, my main character, Ulaya;